A year ago yesterday, the day LA’s stay-at-home order started, I flew from LA to Philly.

I was planning to stay just for a couple of weeks. I still hoped there might be a chance I would get to spend Passover with my parents. We knew so little then. Everything was uncertain.

What was supposed to be a couple weeks turned into over 3 months living at my brother’s house, helping my niece and nephews with zoom school, trying to help my brother and sis-in-law maintain some sanity, all while I was worrying about what was becoming of my life and career.

Prior to the shutdown, I was weighing a couple job opportunities at music companies - continuing my long career in artist management and marketing, working with mission-driven artists and people.

As the world shut down, the music industry was thrown into uncertainty and every job opportunity I had disappeared. Every freelance client I had was gone.

All I could think was “WTF?!”

I was grateful to be with family and not on my own in LA without any human contact, but I felt like I was living in a state of limbo- my life was on hold.

Fast forward exactly one year and I’m back on a plane to Philly to spend Passover at my brother’s house. This time, with my parents.

The fear I had a year ago has all but disappeared. While uncertainty is always part of life, I’ve never felt more certain and more aligned with where I am now.

A year ago that I would never believe that I would leave artist management and be a life & impact coach. I couldn’t imagine leaving that part of my career behind.

But really, I left nothing behind. I took it all with me.

The years I’ve had coaching and guiding artists in their careers and the impact they were making is what brought me to where I am today.

The pain, the fear, the coaching, and the training I’ve gone through in the past year have completely transformed my life.

We’ve gone through a global awakening. As we start to see a light at the end, our eyes must stay open.

I’m here to help the music biz and ALL mission-driven peeps navigate uncertainty and use their talents, pain, and experiences to create GREAT lives & change the world.

Send me a note if you’re ready for transformation. 

Now, I’m off to hug the bejeezus out of my family!

In honor of #WomensHistoryMonth I am sharing quotes from some incredible impact-making women.⁠⁠

"Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg⁠⁠

This one is from the G.O.A.T in honor of her birthday this week. RBG embodies this to her very core. She was the essence of impact making leadership.⁠⁠

May her memory be always for a blessing.⁠⁠

Want to figure out how to make your biggest impact? ⁠

I’m a life and impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps helping you lead by example and make your most authentic impact. Book a discovery call today to find out more.⁠

The other morning in physical therapy (a long story for another time), I was doing my standing rows and heard one of the trainers call from across the room “Civia! Head up!” 

I rolled my eyes- at myself- and said “geez! I always do that!”

I’m always looking down when I should be holding my head up.

He said - I’m just going to keep reminding you until you can’t help but hear my voice in your head and it’ll become second nature. One day, you’ll be walking down the street looking down and you’ll just hear my voice saying “Head Up!”

It occurred to me that this is exactly what I teach my clients (and myself) to do through thought work.

Our brains are constantly on auto-pilot feeding us the same old habitual thoughts that we’ve had most of our lives. For most of us, those thoughts are pretty negative…. they’re the “head down” thoughts that keep us from going after our goals.

But once we catch them and can intentionally redirect our brains to think of something more useful - we are able to retrain our brains and create the amazing results we want in our lives.

That’s one of the the things I love about coaching. To have that voice in your head - telling you “Head Up!” 

So… this is me telling you “Head Up!” 

Keep your eyes on that goal and don’t let those nagging voices stop you….

P.S. Want to know what’s it’s like having a coach in your head every week keeping you on track towards your goals? I’m a life and impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps helping you do amazing things and make your authentic impact. Book a discovery call today and we’ll go over all the ways I can help you.

Over the last few days I’ve seen and heard some things about the Meghan & Harry interview that have, quite frankly, pissed me off. And I had to say something.

People were doubting the extent of her depression. People made fun of her for complaining about being trapped in a palace. Some people said that she could’ve just “gone away” silently without a tell-all interview.

All of these criticisms and more completely miss the point.

There were two big issues brought up in in the interview that we need MORE people to speak out about - mental health and racism.

These are issues that are killing people around the world more than any virus imaginable.

Meghan recognized that she has a platform to be able to speak out about these issues and shine a light on them. 

For that, she should be applauded, not shamed.

When you shame her for speaking out - you are shaming everyone in the world struggling with mental health issues, and facing blatant and subtle expressions of racism on a daily basis.

Saying her anguish isn’t “justified” comes from a complete lack of understanding of how mental illness works. Comments like that perpetuate the stigma around mental illness and make it harder for people to speak up and ask for help.

There also seems to be a lack of understanding of how even the subtlest expressions of racism and bigotry can affect someone’s mental health.

There is NEVER an excuse for racism. 

When someone says they’re suffering and asks for help - LISTEN! 

When someone from a marginalized community says they’re experiencing racism or bigotry - LISTEN!

When there is an injustice, it takes strength and courage to speak out. 

I believe so strongly that people who have a big platform should be using it to create positive social change. 

This is why I do what I do.

I am grateful that there are women like Meghan Markle who are using their fame, their celebrity and their platform to shine a light on these issues and to inspire others to do the same.⁠

P.S. I’m a life & impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps helping you do your part and make your authentic impact. Book a discovery call today if this speaks to you.⁠

One of my coaches said this to me when I was talking through some issues I was having with people in my life who I love dearly.

It kind of blew my mind. Not because it was something so radically new - but because it’s just so profound in its simplicity. And it hit me at just the right time.

If you’re like me, you want to be all things for all the people you love. 

Maybe you’re used to dropping everything in your own life to go and meet someone else’s needs (umm, hello to being a woman!)

Or maybe you hold yourself back from saying or doing the things that are most true for you because you’re scared of how other people will feel.

Maybe all your life you’ve been taught that loving someone means giving them exactly what they want and meeting their needs at all times.

But here’s the truth - love is not dependent on how you sacrifice yourself for someone else. Love is a feeling that YOU get to feel for another person and for yourself. 

Often when we’re constantly sacrificing our needs and desires for someone else’s, it brings up feelings of resentment, which brings us further away from love.

When we can learn how to set appropriate boundaries, to make sure our own needs aren’t being ignored or violated, it makes loving others so much easier and accessible- and we’re able to give to them from a loving and authentic place.

Boundaries are not a wall keeping others out. They’re how we protect ourselves so that we can let love in.

If you could use some help setting and keeping healthy boundaries in your life.. I can help you! Book a discovery call with me today to find out how.

I’m a life and impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps helping you let love in and make your authentic impact.

To all the women using their voices and fighting for change…

To all the women starting businesses, doing epic sh*t in their careers, and being badass leaders….

To all the women raising families….

To all the women in music - artists, executives, and change makers - who inspire me in my career every day….

To all the women coaches and thought leaders who never stop blowing my mind and inspiring me to be the best life & impact coach I can be…. 

To all the women juggling a thousand things on any given day….

To all the women in my life - my mother, my grandmother, aunts, friends, teachers, coaches- who have taught me what strength is….

To all BIPOC women making waves and challenging “norms”….

To all Jewish women combatting antisemitism and antizionism….

To all differently-abled women doing things they were told they’d never be able to do…

To all marginalized women who are stepping into their power and not being held back by the old ways of patriarchy and white supremacy….

To ALL women…..

I see you. I’m with you. I lift you up. I AM you. I’ve got you.

We are changing the world.

Happy International Women’s Day!!

In honor of Womens’ History Month I will be sharing quotes from some of the amazing women that I believe are making significant impact in the world.

Deborah Lipstadt is a historian who has been at the forefront of fighting antisemitism and hatred for decades. She may be known best for her book “History on Trial: My Day in Court with a Holocaust Denier” which was adapted into a movie starring Rachel Weisz. 

I had the pleasure of hearing her speak a few years ago about the historic roots of antisemitism and all the ways it manifests today with a common thread throughout history. 

I heard her speak on Friday night, October 26, 2018. I will never forget the date because the next morning, we awoke to the news of the shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. A horrifying display of antisemitism and hatred.

Women like Deborah Lipstadt shine a light on this hatred so we can all recognize it and stop it in its tracks. So that we can all do our parts to creating a truly HEALTHY society where hatred has no place.

P.S. I’m a life and impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps helping you do your part and make your authentic impact. Book a discovery call today if this speaks to you.⁠

When I was little, every year for Purim (Jewish holiday that begins tonight) I would dress up as Queen Esther.

I would cut out a crown from cardboard, wrap it in tin foil and draw on colorful jewels with magic markers. Then I’d put on my prettiest dress and fancy shoes.

In my family we were pretty consistent (boring?) and we’d all pretty much wear the same costume every year. My father would put on a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a bolo tie with his kapata (long black coat that many Chassidic men wear) and my mother would put on a colorful clown wig with clown makeup. I don’t really remember what my brothers were… except I think my little brother, Rafi was always a ninja turtle (Raphael, of course 😉).

And I was always a Queen.

Pretty ironic considering as I grew up I struggled to think of myself as anything near royalty.

But every year when Purim comes around I think back to those times. It didn’t take much- just some cardboard, foil and markers to make me feel like a queen. 

I read a great post this week from Tel Aviv Institute that said “Purim reminds us that one person who stands up to antisemitism can save A GENERATION”

That was Queen Esther. And I believe that each one of us has a Queen Esther inside of us. Whether it’s standing up to antisemitism, social injustice, racism, or hate of any kind - we all have the power to make impact and save a generation.

Time to let out your inner QUEEN!

Happy Purim!

P.S. I’m a life and impact coach for artists, music industry professionals, and all mission-driven peeps, here to help you recognize the queen (or king) that you are and make your strongest impact. Schedule a free discovery call to find out more!

I love this quote from Byron Katie.

This past year has tested all of our abilities to accept reality.  

So much of our suffering comes from trying to resist what is. When we learn to accept what is, and learn how to manage our minds and emotions to not let it completely derail us - that’s when we can make magic happen.

Acceptance does NOT mean you don’t strive for change. But change can’t happen when you’re in denial or resistance of reality.

We’ve seen this so clearly in the music community and social impact space. Those who were able to accept reality, were able to adapt and innovate while looking for solutions to the problems we face.

It’s so much harder to find solutions when we’re spending our mental and emotional energy fighting and resisting.

We’re all human- and our primitive brains want to resist anything that pushes us out of our comfort zone. That’s where thought work and mind and emotional management become so important.

What do you do when the circumstances in the world push you out of your comfort zone?

P.S. I’m a life and impact coach working in the music industry with people who want to use their talents to make positive impact- and I can help you navigate and thrive through any circumstances! Contact me to book a free discovery call to find out how!

Today is a celebration of love ❤️

Love comes in so many forms - romantic love, love in friendships, love of family, love of community, love of humanity, love of the world. ALL forms of love should be celebrated today and every day.

For me, right now, today is a celebration of 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 🥰

Self love has been something I’ve struggled with in the past, and I know I’m not alone in that struggle. But self-love is the foundation for every other kind of love we get to experience in our lifetimes.

I believe that you can’t fully experience love of anyone or anything else without fully loving yourself.

Self-love is not a destination that you reach. It is a continuous journey of introspection, re-evaluation, and self-care. 

The Hebrew word for love is Ahava. Its root is Hav means “giving.” To love another, you have to be able to give. To love yourself, you have to be able to give to yourself, as well as receive the love from yourself and from others.

This past week, I had to go on a deeper journey of self love. I had a few days where I “forgot” how to truly love myself and I was feeling the consequences of that. 

So I went inwards. I reconnected with my soul and my true purpose and remembered that we are all divine beings having a human experience. 

Your existence as a human on this planet means that you are 100% loveworthy.

We all have a unique purpose and role to play. When you are aligned with yours, how can you feel anything but love for yourself?

My wish for everyone this Valentine’s Day is to be so aligned with your unique gifts and purpose that you can’t help but feel so much love for yourself… so that your love radiates out to everyone around you and makes the world a better place.

❤️ Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️

P.S. I can help you get in touch with your true purpose and make the impact you’re meant to make in this world. Email me to set up a free consult call.

“Over 170 Black and Jewish leaders from all over the entertainment industry have banded together to launch the Black-Jewish Entertainment Alliance (BJEA), a joint initiative devoted to countering racism and antisemitism, and released a unity statement.” 
From Variety Magazine

This is everything.

I am so happy, grateful, and proud to see so many people I know and have worked with add their names to this alliance. And I’ve added mine as well.

From a very young age, the importance of the Black-Jewish alliance held special significance for me. I was raised with my father’s stories of how he fought for civil rights, how he risked his life time and time again and ultimately sacrificed his academic career in pursuit of justice. He saw it as his responsibility as a Jew, who knew discrimination and suffering, to stand up against hate and to fight against the subjugation of another people simply because of their race.

I’ve shared this story before, but I will share it here again in honor of Black History Month and the announcement of this alliance. It’s just one of the stories that helped shape my views and the importance of standing up for what’s right in this world. 

In March of 1965, my father was a philosophy teaching fellow at  Kentucky State University, one of the oldest HBCUs. As one of the only people on campus with a working car, he drove down to Montgomery, AL to help ferry his students and others from the airport there to the march in Selma.

On one of his runs, he became concerned that he was being followed (a woman who had been doing these runs previously had been killed just days prior) and he called the FBI to ask for help. They hung up on him. On his return to Selma he was indeed pulled over by a state police officer. The put his gun to my father's head and made a choice comment about there being “too many n***er loving k*kes in the world.” 

We may never know why that hate-filled officer on a power trip decided not to pull the trigger (there were too many instances where others made a very different choice) but I thank G-d every day for my existence knowing that it could have gone another way.

I will always believe in our responsibility as Jews and as humans to stand up against hate.

We have too much first hand knowledge of what can happen when we don’t.

The Jewish community and the Black community have so much more in common than we have in differences, and I celebrate every opportunity for us to come together to better understand and support each other.

I also believe so strongly in the power and the influence of the arts and the entertainment industry to unite people against hate. Some of my most fulfilling experiences of my 17 year career in the music industry have been working with artists on social impact initiatives.

THIS is why I’ve chosen this path as a life and impact coach working especially with people in the entertainment industry.

We all have unique talents and experiences that can create incredible impact in the world.

If this speaks to you, and you’re wondering how you can make your impact- in whatever way and whatever area it is that is unique to you- or you could use support along the way, I invite you to book to a discovery call with me to learn how I can help.

It’s not always an easy road, but it’s the most worthwhile one.

The world needs you.

I listened to this podcast this morning from two people that I follow whom I love, admire, respect and always learn so much from. And I was triggered. 

Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day so perhaps it’s fitting that this is coming up for me today. It is not the day on the Jewish calendar that we remember the Holocaust - that comes in the Spring - today is a day for the International non-Jewish community to remember the atrocities of the Holocaust and what it means for them and what they can learn from it.

I am addressing this post directly to Brene and Emmanuel because it’s something I think they completely missed and misunderstood and it’s something that the non-Jewish community needs to recognize.

Emmanuel - First, I want to say that I love you. You have taught me so much since releasing your first video of “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man.” I admire your willingness and ability to hold space for people to ask the hard questions, and how you always speak truth from a place of love and understanding. Plus, you’re a former Eagle and that’ll always mean something to this girl from Philly 😉💚🦅 

You told a story about how during your show with Oprah, you were asked a question- “The Holocaust was both more recent and more deadly than slavery but Jewish people have managed to recover, how come Black people can’t?”

WOW. That question hit me like a knife in the heart. It’s both ignorant and just plain wrong.

But, (and here’s where the pain really came in) the response you gave just twisted that knife. You said “it is easier to judge someone based off their skin color than it is to judge someone based off of what they believe.”

While I completely agree with that statement, you missed the the most essential parts to someone who is Jewish.

You acknowledged the ignorance interwoven in the question, but, here’s what you missed in your response, Emmanuel.

Jews have NOT recovered from the Holocaust. That’s where the first point of ignorance lies in the question. Antisemitism is at an all time high in this country and across the world. And it’s not just from White Supremacists or the extreme right. It’s also coming from the “left” and it is interwoven into the dominant white Christian society we live in. The pain of the Holocaust and the pain of thousands of years of discrimination, persecution and oppression before that still runs deep in our veins and is passed down through collective and inter-generational trauma and memories. And it’s still happening. 

Jews have become a “model minority” seen as wielding power, and many have assimilated into white society. But our experience is not the same. And we are not white.

That brings me to the next point that you missed. Your response pre-supposes that discrimination against Jews is based on their beliefs and that Jewishness is categorized by belief. This is just plain wrong. A person who is ethnically Jewish is Jewish whether or not he/she believes in the religion or not.

Judaism is an ethnoreligion. Yes, belief and religion play a part - but it is not the only thing that defines someone’s identity as a Jew. A person is a Jew because they were born of Jewish ancestors. Yes, we welcome converts - but it is not a proselytizing religion and the process of conversion is cumbersome. Once a person converts, they are welcomed in as part of the tribe as if they are ethnically Jewish.

Moreover, your response ignores the experience of Jews of Color - of which there are many. The fact that many American Jews look white is a direct result of our own discrimination and expulsion from our indigenous homeland. And while some were pushed into areas of Europe where our persecution continued, others were expelled to areas in the Middle East, Northern Africa, Asia and all over the world (where they were also discriminated against)… resulting in there being Jews of almost every race. But we’re all still ethnically Jewish- in addition to our other respective nationalities and races.

Those of us whose ancestors were expelled to Europe may look white.. and YES, we benefit from white privilege. But our experience is vastly different - and even more painfully, it is denied or ignored.

Brene - you are one of my heroes. You are one of the reasons I’ve decided to become a Life & Impact coach after 17 years in the music industry as an artist manager. Your response to Emmanuel and the questions you asked him were compassionate and on-point. But you missed all of this too.

You brought up the idea of “comparative suffering.” But that’s not what this is. I admit, perhaps the person who asked Emmanuel the question was doing so- but that person was clearly coming from a place of complete ignorance. 

We as Jews are not trying to compare our suffering to that of Black people. We are just asking to also be seen. We are also empathizing and saying we see your pain and we know pain. 

Yes, our pain is different. Our experience of the world is different - but we also know pain and we want to stand beside you to learn from you and to heal, to grow and to make change.

We just want to feel seen and understood as we stand beside you.

It is scary, uncomfortable and painfully vulnerable for me to even write this because I know there will be people from all different sides that won’t agree with me. But as you both said so beautifully, the discomfort is necessary for healing and growth to happen. 

We have to have the uncomfortable conversations.

It is MY work to understand your experience, and it is also YOUR work or to understand mine.

That’s how we come to real equity and working towards a better more inclusive society for all.

I’m owning my voice.

I often find myself holding back on what I truly want to say. When I share something publicly or in a group of people that I know may have different opinions, I get in my head and try to find the “right” way to say it. 

What’s the thing that everyone can agree on or that will be universal enough that nobody would be offended?

It comes partly from a good place…  from the desire to unite rather than divide. But it also comes from a desire to people-please and a fear of people’s judgement.

There’s also frustration when people think things and have beliefs that are so vastly different than my own. How can they actually believe that?!

I now realize that by holding back, I’m not serving anyone. 

Why is it a problem for people not to agree with me?

It’s only a problem if I make it one. 

Through my own thought work, studies and working with people and clients from very different backgrounds, I’ve come to understand how our unique experiences shape our beliefs. 

How we experience the world, what we’ve been taught, the environments we grew up in - all play a part in how we think.

Of course it’s not going to be the same for everybody!

What’s important is for me to understand WHY I believe what I do. 

I believe we all have a purpose and a role to play in this world. We all have a unique impact that we’re meant to make that comes from our own talents, our own work, and our own experiences.

I don’t believe in knee-jerk activism. I don’t believe it’s authentic or impactful to just hop on the bandwagon of influencers, politicians, or activists without doing the deep work yourself and asking yourself WHY.

But once you know your why…  there is no reason to hold back. 

When you know your why… you’ll be able to make your strongest impact.

Unity doesn’t mean we all agree. Unity means we accept each other for our different views and experiences. 

Making authentic impact means we understand how our individual thoughts create our different results and experiences. And how our collective thoughts do the same. 

Our thoughts and beliefs can evolve and change over time. As long as we’re continually investigating them and doing the work- own them! 

Because you’re meant to do something with them.

So no more holding back. No more worrying about people not agreeing with me. I will share fully when I feel I have something of value to say. And I will always say it with love and the understanding that my thoughts are my own.

I invite you to join me on this journey to own your own voice and make your most authentic impact. 

Send me a message to book a free consult to find out how I can help you.

“For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”

We are “a nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished”

Powerful words of truth from Amanda Gorman.

It truly feels like a fresh new beginning. But as President Biden said, “we’ve come so far… but we still have so far to go.”

We’ll only get there with unity and I’m so grateful to now have a President who understands that.

I just hope and pray that his message of unity is truly felt throughout the country in the months and years to come.

Congratulations Mr. President and MADAM Vice President

I once heard a description of heroism that resonated so deeply with me. It said that heroes are flawed human beings who can be something greater than themselves.

This couldn’t be truer than it is for MLK and for so many of our modern day heroes. 

The truth is, we are all flawed - because we are all human. But that does not take away from our capacity for greatness.

When we can own our flaws AND our greatness and hold them simultaneously - that is when we can have our greatest IMPACT.

Another classic and favorite quote of mine from MLK Jr. is “Hate can not drive out hate, only love can do that.”

I believe it just gets to the core of so many of the issues we face in this country.

My brother shared a story today on Facebook about how in 1965, when ferrying protesters from Montgomery to Selma for the march, my father’s life was threatened by a racist cop who said “there are too many n***** loving k*kes in the world.”

I thank G-d every day for my existence - that that racist, hate filled cop didn't pull the trigger on my father. But not everybody gets so lucky. 

So I will always feel it my duty, as a Jew and as an American, to speak up against hate and do my best to lead with love. To serve… flaws and all.

My word of the year is POSSIBILITY

For a large part of my life, I would dream and fantasize about the life I wanted - finding love and true partnership, creating a family, creating and running a successful business, creating impact and inspiring people through my work and contributions and so much more.

Some of that I believed was possible - but mostly it seemed like a far off fantasy that was just nice to imagine.

In December, I heard an amazing coach, Corinne Crabtree, say “It will never hurt you to believe it’s possible.”

It hit me like a knock on the head.

Duh! I get to CHOOSE to believe if it’s possible. And I have nothing to lose by believing it is… and everything to gain.

So, I am living in possibility.

I have big goals and there is nothing stopping me from believing they’re all possible.

Do you have a word for 2021?

This photo was taken exactly a year ago. I was coming home from a dinner out celebrating the new year with my friend (and amazing photographer). I was feeling so optimistic about 2020. I had this feeling deep in my gut that it was going to be a great year. It was going to be the year where things would finally start to come together for me.

Ha! Little did I know….

But, looking back, 2020 really was that year. It was full of challenges, hardships, and absolute heartbreak over what was happening in the world. But with all of that came the opportunity for reflection and growth.

I told someone recently that COVID was the catalyst for me changing gears and directions in my life and career - but if it all went away tomorrow, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’m exactly where I’ve always been meant to be. I’m filled with so much gratitude to be able to help artists, music industry professionals, and anyone that wants to make lasting authentic impact in the world- in a way I never could before.

So, thank you 2020 for the wake up call - in more ways than one.

And 2021…. bring it, let’s go!

Happy New Year!

Like many at this time of year, I’ve been working on setting my intentions and goals for 2021.

Folks… my goals for this year are bigger than they’ve ever been! 

I’ve been so inspired by the work I’m doing, and by the incredible women entrepreneurs I’m learning from and working with. It’s making me want to go big both in my business and my personal life. 

And it’s scary as sh*t.

I was coaching a client this week and she said she wanted to work on some goals and new year’s resolutions. Then she made a comment about how it’s so cliche to make resolutions and then give up on them by about January 21st.

I told her the same thing I’m telling myself. The reason people give up on their resolutions is because they’re not willing to fail and to be uncomfortable - which is exactly what’s required in order to meet your goals. If you could just be willing to accept the discomfort that comes with inevitable failure - nothing can stop you! Success requires lots of failure along the way- and you have to be willing to feel all of the discomfort and negative emotions that come with it… and then pick yourself up and try again!

So get ready for 2021…. I can’t wait to share my failures and successes along the way!

Need help with your 2021 goals? Want to make your biggest impact yet? Send me an email! 🤗💕

I saw this hashtag starting to go around from some amazing Jewish women that I follow. It was started in response to some “influencer” (who I won’t even give the dignity of tagging) saying that Jews are traditionally unattractive. We can talk for hours about how messed up that is…. but I’d rather focus on the beauty of this hashtag and these posts.

Like most women, I’ve struggled with body image and loving how I look. All my life, I’ve been told I look “ethnic.” People would ask me where I’m from, if I’m Persian, if I’m Italian, if I’m Spanish. My response would always be “no, I’m just Jewish.” 

Which, when I think about it, is a pretty hilarious response - as if being Jewish is monolith that comes with one particular look. It doesn’t. But it does mean not fitting the standard ideal of beauty as defined by Eurocentric standards… because no matter how some people want to portray us, we’re not just white Europeans. We are one of the world’s few ethnoreligions and there’s something so special to be celebrated in that. Part of the beauty of being Jewish is that we’re a people made up of all different colors, races, and features. And yet, we all have the same geographic roots (the  land of Israel), ancestral roots, and are united by a shared tradition and heritage that goes back thousands of years.  

I remember one time in around 4th grade, a teacher of mine (who wasn’t Jewish) told me I had a “striking profile” and that my nose was so prominent it gave me such a distinct look. She meant it as a compliment, but it stuck with me as yet another thing that made me look “different.” I would often look at myself in the mirror and pick myself apart. My nose is too big and pointy, my face is asymmetrical, my hair is too frizzy and unruly. My body is awkward, my knees are too knobby, my rib cage is too wide, my hips are too big. Add age to that, and I can obsess over the new lines on my face, the circles under my eyes and so much more. 

Part of my work now is to love myself exactly as I am and to love the things about me that make me “different.” Because what is different? And why should it be a bad thing? We need to start challenging the ideas that we’ve all been socialized to believe are what make a woman beautiful. They’re based in Eurocentric, Christian standards that don’t apply to most of the world! What’s beautiful is diversity. How boring would it be if all women had perfectly smooth hair, fair skin, small, thin bodies, and perfectly symmetrical features?

I still struggle, but now when I look at myself in the mirror, I see my mother. I see my father. I see my grandparents and great-grandparents. I see generations and generations of tradition and heritage, of persecution and ridicule… and of strength and resilience.

That’s what being Beautifully Jewish means to me. It means diversity, unity, strength, resilience, and so much more.

I’ve been blessed with many amazing friendships in my life. Friendships on the level of sisterhood - of soul-sisterhood. Some of those friendships have withstood the test of time- from childhood, college, and adulthood - and I know those will continue forever.  I am eternally grateful for them. 

But I’ve also had my heart broken by some. For anyone that’s ever experienced this kind of heartbreak, you know that it can hurt just as much, if not more, than any breakup with a boyfriend or significant other. 

For me, some of those friendships have healed and some have never truly recovered. 

Someone once told me that people always come into your life for a reason. Sometimes it’s for a season, sometimes it’s for a lifetime… but it’s always meant to be. 

This week, I got to connect with two different soul-sisters, both incredible musicians and artists, who I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs with. 

The other night, I reconnected with one who I haven’t really talked to more than a quick text or hello in nearly a year. We went through some hard times after working together and then parting ways. At the time, there were hurt feelings, there was resentment, there was miscommunication…. but underneath it all was love. And after having some distance, we were able to reconnect and return to the foundation of our friendship - our deep love, respect and appreciation for one another. We laughed, we cried, we talked about all of the personal progress we’ve made in our lives, the challenges we’ve faced, and we just told each other how much we love each other.

Yesterday, I was with another magical being to celebrate her birthday. Our relationship was also challenged in the last year and we both had to come to the realization that our love for each other was more important than any obstacle and that we weren’t willing to walk away from such a beautiful friendship. I am so proud of us for the open communication we’ve been able to have and for the steps we’ve taken to now feel even closer than before.

Being able to connect with both of these women this week just fills me with so much love and gratitude for all of the friendships and relationships in my life. Even those that turned out to be just for a “season.” Each one of them became a part of me. They taught me so much about myself, about relationships, and about the impact we can have in each other’s lives.

I will always cherish those relationships. And I am so grateful to now be in a place where I can let go of any hurt or resentment, and just appreciate the love and what they taught me - no matter what may happen in the future. 

I so believe everybody comes into our lives for a reason. They are there to make an impact on your life, and for you to make an impact on theirs… and you never know how far the ripple effects of that impact can go. 

💕💕 If this resonates and you could use help navigating your relationships and making your strongest impact… let’s talk!